I Hate Goodbyes

With eager anticipation I look forward to what 2009 is going to bring, yet with an aching heart I sit down to write tonight. On the 15th of December, my Dad went in for surgery to have a tumor removed from his chest. The surgery was a success and the tumor was benign, thank God. On that very day, a friend of mine from work went in for a triple bypass operation. Little did I know that I would get to meet her family and spend time with them in the waiting room. Strangely, my father's room and Barbara's room were just across the hall from each other in the ICU. During my visits to see my Dad, I would peak my head in to see Barbara but never got a chance to talk with her because she was on the ventilator and had nurses tending to her. I was excited to hear that she went home last week and was doing well and shocked when I found out that she unexpectedly passed away at home on Sunday.

As a Hospice Nurse, I have been able to numb myself to the pain of death. Today, however as I passed her desk at work and sat in her chair for a brief moment, I was no longer numb. I felt the pain of losing a friend. I will miss her laugh and her kind words. She was a person who always had something to say that would lift your spirits or make you laugh. She was an excellent nurse and was loved by so many. There will be a void in our office, one that time will heal but one that will never be forgotten.

I hate goodbyes...especially when they are permanent. Goodbyes are a reminder that life is precious and that we are never guaranteed tomorrow. I am reminded to focus on what is really important in life and for me what is truly important is my relationship with my God, my family and my friends. I want to live a life of intention - doing a good job at work, taking care of my health, taking time to read and learn new things and devoting time to investing in people. If only I can remember to daily live by these priorities...perhaps that will be my New Year's Resolution this year.

I do look forward to what 2009 will bring. I wonder what chapters are going to be written in my life story this year. I hope they with be chapters filled with good surprises, a lot of happy times with my family and friends, personal victories, fun vacations, a lot of laughter, great conversations, opportunities to see God work, silly things checked off my "bucket list", new relationships and deeper, more intimate and honest friendships with those that I love.

Happy New Year!
I am so thankful for my life and I am so thankful that you are part of it!
Blessings,
Becca