Belated Halloween

Growing up, I was never into Halloween. Only on a few occasions can I even remember doing anything special. Now that I am a mother of boys, everything has changed. Foster especially looks forward to the big day from the time the leaves start changing. He is not in it for the candy. I think he just likes to dress up and pretend to be something he is not. This year, he was a rocker. Jason made the shirt. The headband believe it or not was Jason's from when he was young...thankfully he never wore it while we were dating. Caleb was our little Tiger Woods. We didn't let him carry the golf club. Believe me, he doesn't need a weapon. He wasn't so sure about going to people's houses, especially if they had decorations. He did like the chocolate. That has since become one of his favorite words to say, "Cwocwhit, pweeeze".
There is something about having a basket overflowing with candy in the house. I feel like it is my responsibility to solve the problem of having so much around. It is hard on the waistline and also created a habit of going for sweets after every meal. I started back on Weight Watchers today and it feels good to have discipline in my life again. It is just one day at a time...one decision at a time to have self control. Even thought I lost 25 lbs on the program at the beginning of this year, I still fell short of my ultimate weight goal. I am kicking it in gear for the next month or so. I would love to reach my goal by the end of the year. Thankfully, the candy is almost gone and Halloween only comes around once a year! Now, if I can just get through Thanksgiving and Christmas :)

No Top Ten Tonight. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Please pardon how cheesy this sounds, but I am so thankful to each of you who I call friend. I am blessed.

Blessings,

Becca

Emily Maddox 10/2/36-10/13/07

At 4:25pm on October 13th 2007, my mother-in-law, Emily passed away. I find it hard to even write right now because I don't really know what words to say. I am deeply saddened by the loss of this woman who has been in my life for 18 years. She is the mother to my husband, the grandma to my boys and she was my friend.

Emily was a woman with huge strengths and big weaknesses. She stood very strong for what she believed in, no matter what the cost. You always knew where Emily stood on any issue. She was a loud voice for the Republican party and loved her country deeply. She loved family. As a matter of fact, Emily would look for any and every excuse to get the family together -Christmas, Labor Day, Presidents Day, you name it. She had 3 boys - Powl, Hopper and Jason. Jason is the youngest. She had 8 grandchildren. I won't list them, but our boys are the youngest. Nothing brought her more joy than to have all the family around. The louder and the more laughter, the better.

One thing that I respected the most about Emily is that she didn't just sit and watch life go by. She was always busy doing something, whether it be volunteer her time, work in the yard, or travel. She was always on the go. When she was in her mid-60s, she was on her roof cutting tree limbs and lost her balance. She fell and broke her foot. If it was possible to do-it-herself, she did it! Rarely did I see her sitting in front of the television. She made the most of each moment. I want to be like that when I grow up.

I am still struggling with my emotions as I am very sad that she is gone. I don't know if I should feed my sorrow or just pretend like everything is OK. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coster and I will be ready for this ride to be over. With my Hospice background, you would think that I would know how to better handle death. I see death all the time and I have been able to numb myself when it is someone who I don't know. Now don't get me wrong, I do shed occasional tears at work, but what I feel with the loss of Emily isn't just a few tears. It is much deeper. I ache. I am so grateful that I was able to be with her a lot during the last few months of her life. I have no regrets. I know that she knew that I loved her deeply and I can't think of anything that I didn't say to her. For that I am so grateful. I know each day will get easier; I will always miss her in our lives.

Ten Things I Loved About Emily:

1. She was the Queen of setting people up. If she knew a single person, it was her mission to find someone to set them up with. She wasn't all that great at it, but she was not discouraged by her track record.

2. She could whip up a meal in minutes...there was always a meat, a starch and something green. In her opinion, it wasn't a meal without those 3 components.

3. Emily had the narrowest foot I have ever seen. Each year when Belt's Shoes would have a big sale, Emily and I would go shoe shopping. She would offer to buy me a pair of shoes, but I typically would have a hard time finding any that I liked. She would come home with several new pairs.

4. She made her some of her swimsuits. They were pretty, but always looked a little strange, like something wasn't quite right. She had a great figure so she could pull it off. No, I will not be making my own anytime soon.

5. She loved to laugh...especially at her boys. Get the boys in a room and she would sit and listen with a big smile on her face. She is the reason all 3 boys think they are funny. She was an easy audience for them.

6. She has kept me from having to learn how to sew. Since Jason and I have been married, Emily has been replacing all of Jason's buttons and zippers and mending all the tears in his clothes. Guess I better wipe the dust from our sewing machine now.

7. As I mentioned before, she didn't watch life pass her by. She was known to go hiking, camping, fishing and hunting. She travelled the world. She volunteered her time and gave blood regularly. She was in a motor home club, worked with the Republican Party, and loved to host parties at her home. She made the most of her 71 years. I love that!!!

8. For the past 5 or 6 years, I have been the one that went Christmas shopping with her for all her grandkids. She always had in her mind what she wanted to get them and I tried to make sure that what she picked out was in style. This is a tough job for me. I am not exactly the queen of style, but we had fun shopping together, none the less.

9. Emily was almost as frugal as my Grandma. She didn't believe in wasting anything. She would washout and reuse plastic baggies and she would recycle wrapping paper. She even took Christmas Cards that she received in the mail and would cut them at the seam and then mail the picture side as a postcard or use it as a card the next year. There is such a huge part that thinks that is a great idea, but the other part of me won't allow me to go that far in my "cheapness"but I still love her for it and it makes me smile.

10. She was my mother-in-law - full of advice, strong suggestions and opinions. Although she let her ideas be known, she never imposed on our lives. She was respectful and loving. She would do anything for us and always had an open door for us to drop in and swim or just hang out. She was an amazing person and she will never be forgotten.

One thing I have learned through this hard time in our lives - we have wonderful friends. Thank you everyone for your words of encouragment and sympathy. Thank you for helping with food and with the kids. Thank you for being there for us. We are so grateful that you are in our lives. We love you all.

Until next time...hopefully on a much happier note :)

Blessings,

Becca

Searching for Sand Dollars

Storytime with Becca: In Sunday School on Sunday, we watched the first of a video series by Andy Stanley called Go Fish. As homework, Andy challenged us to write a letter to someone who influenced us spiritually. Whether we chose to send the letter or not, he instructed us to write to that person telling them what they mean to us and the impact they made in our lives. During the car ride home from church, Jason and I talked about the assignment. I told him that I so wish that I could find my first grade teacher, Miss Fitzgerald. I wanted to tell her what she meant to me and let her know that God had used her to help mold me into the person I am today. Without any success, I have been looking for Miss Fitzgerald for years. I know her married name and I know that she lived in Texas, but that is it.

OK, fast forward about 2 hours. I got paged by my workmate to ask that I go see a patient. While Wendy and I were talking on the phone, our other work partner, Angela called. Wendy did not click over....I told Wendy that I would call Angela because I wanted to talk to her anyway. I called Angela and she told me that she was coming to Tulsa today to make a follow up visit to a patient she saw yesterday. I asked her who she was seeing and she said, Mrs Weldon (I can't use her real name for confidentiality purposes). I told Angela that it is weird that she was seeing a person by that last name because that was the married name as my 1st grade teacher that I was just talking about today. I told Angela that my teacher's name was Janet and she said, "Mrs Weldon's daughter-in-law's name is Janet". I said, "is she tall". She said "yes". I said, "does she have red hair". Angela said "yes". I said "is she from Texas". She said "yes". I was floored. I couldn't believe it. Had God scripted this? I literally sobbed as I thought about all the details that He had carefully put together to give me such a gift.

I made the follow up visit to Mrs Weldon and Janet answered the door. She looked exactly the same. It was all I could do to keep my composure. I told her my name was Becca with Hospice. I told her that she may know me by Rebecca Haymore. She said, "wow, that name sounds familiar". I smiled at her and asked if she recognized me. It took her a few seconds and then she grabbed me and hugged me. She said "is it really you!". My heart leaped with joy...to be hugging this amazing woman who poured her life into me at such a young age. We visited for almost 2 hours. I didn't want the meeting to end. We made plans to get together again this week.

A few hours ago, I came home from meeting with her for lunch. I love her so much. There is a part of me that still feels like a first grader in her presence, looking up to her and hanging on the words that she says. And there is a part of me that feels like I am being reunited with a dear friend. Now, I have the opportunity to pour into her life as she and her family are going through a hard time with the passing of her mother-in-law. God gave us both a gift by bringing us together at this time in our lives.

On summer vacations, when I was young, we would wake early and walk the beaches in search of the perfect unbroken sand dollar. I remember feeling anxious that if we didn't get out there early, someone else would come upon the perfect find before we did. The irony is that there were always plenty of people taking early walks or jogs on the beach passing the beautiful sand dollars and sometimes even crushing them underfoot without a thought. The difference between the joggers and me is that my eyes were open; I was looking for the treasure.

Isn't that life. God is at work all around us, all the time. So often though we are not looking for it. We are either so focused on our circumstances or distracted by the busyness of life that we miss his hand. The experience with Miss Fitzgerald was one of those times where if I was walking on the beach, the sand dollar would have literally fallen from the sky and smacked me in the head. By piecing together every detail and giving me such an awesome gift, I feel like God wanted to clearly tell me that He is still here and He cares about me.

Ten Things I Learned from Miss Fitzgerald:

1) Making a child feel important, special and deeply loved goes way farther than just teaching them Math, Reading and Science.

2) eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht, neun, zehn - 1-10 in German.

3) When you point at someone else, there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you.

4) She taught me the Bible Verse Alphabet. We learned a verse for each letter in the alphabet. I still remember several. A- All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God B - Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. C - Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.....I am teaching Foster these too.

5) She taught us about gravity. I thought she was so cool when she dropped something from the 2nd floor window and we got to watch it smash to the ground.

6) By example, she taught me how to love people for who they are.

7) One day during class we were drawing a picture of our house and family. I finished quickly and proudly showed her my work. She took me by the hand and we walked over to the window in the hall and she asked me where the sky stopped. This was the first time I realized that the sky didn't stop. It wasn't just a blue blob at the top of the picture. It should have been the entire canvas of my art work. It changed the way I drew and changed how I looked at things.

8) She taught me about the importance of a smile.

9) She taught me the importance of thinking of others. One day she took my friend Shannon and me to Mayfest and then afterwards we went back to her apartment and baked cookies for the principle of the school. I still have the Thank You letter from Ruffin Snow thanking us for the wonderful cookies.

10) She taught me through this awesome reunion that God can still surprise us and bless us beyond our wildest imagination. A smile comes to my face every time I think of her and I will forever be reminded of how God still works in exciting and fun ways!

Until Next Time.

Blessings,

Becca

Change

This past Thursday, life changed. Little did I know that it would hit me like a ton of bricks. My baby started Kindergarten. On one hand I was so excited for him. Believe it or not, I remember my first day of Kindergarten. I remember being nervous and excited all at the same time. I remember proudly carrying my yellow Snoopy lunch box shaped like a doghouse and I remember that in spite of my desire otherwise, my mom made me wear a sundress. I remember my classroom. It was a large room with terrazzo flooring; we sat on little carpet squares during group time. I often got in trouble for talking and wiggling (Foster comes by that honestly) and my favorite time of the day was recess and art time. My teacher, Mrs Hale was a kind woman who was gentle but stern. I thought she was so old, but she probably was only in her 40s when she taught me. I remember doing tornado drills where we had line up in the hall crouch down and tuck our heads against the wall as if this would actually protect us. Walking Foster into school on Thursday made those memories flood my mind. It brought a smile to my face, but my smile couldn't force back the tears that eventually flooded from my eyes. My baby is getting big and I cannot have him all to myself any longer.


It has not only been hard on me. Caleb has had to make some adjustments too. He has cried both days we dropped Foster off at school. He just cries out "DaDo". That is what he calls Foster. When we are at home by ourselves during the day, he sometimes will walk around looking for him. Caleb and I will adjust. We actually have had some good times together already, just the two of us. This will be a special time for us to bond in a new way. I will not be distracted and be able to focus on him. Perhaps I will find new things he enjoys when his brother is not there to influence the situation. It should be fun.



Just because Foster is in school doesn't mean that I don't have big plans to be involved in his life. There is a fine balance between being an involved mom and being an annoying one. I am going to try to avoid the latter, but I am going to get involved in as much as I can. I plan to join the PTA and I have volunteered to be an assistant to the Home Room Mom. They asked me if I would like to be the Home Room Mom, but with my enormous lack of organizational skills, I thought I would be a liability to them instead of an asset....I think being a helper is much safer.

So, life is different now. I am excited to see what these changes are going to teach me. There is always a lesson in change!

Five Things I Learned In Kindergarten:
1. When patten leather shoes rub against terrazzo floor, they make a disturbing sound that sounds a little like flatulence and no matter how hard you try to recreate the sound to prove it was your shoe, it just can't be done.

2. Even though you know that houses are bigger than people, when you paint them as a Kindergartner, it is impossible to draw the person smaller than the house. I don't know why.

3. Boys are a lot more fun to play with....they chase you on the playground and don't cry when you "accidently" punch them.

4. A glass lined thermos breaks very easily no matter how careful you try to be with it. I have no idea why my mom felt that I could be responsible with such a fragile container. I think I went through at least 12 before she finally gave up on me.

5. Although quite funny, it is just not nice to get off the teeter tauter without warning the other person first.


Have a blessed week.
Until Next Time,
Becca

Wilderness Pictures

In The Wilderness

My life has been full since I last wrote. It has been so good and I feel like I have a new perspective. On June 23rd, I got in a van with 3 gals I didn't know and headed West. In Creede, Colorado, our road trip ended....little did I know that my life was getting ready to change. On Sunday, I along with 16 other ladies (who I now call friends) loaded up our backpacks with nearly 40lbs of community and personal items and started our walk into the mountains of Colorado. I had no idea what to expect of this trip and what I learned was not at all what I had envisioned.

During our 6 days in the "Wilderness" we walked a total of about 23 miles. We walked anywhere from 2 to 8 hours depending on the day. Each evening we set up camp, spent time alone with the Lord and spent time together as a group and laughed until our sides hurt. Camp was not what I expected. I pictured tents and a fire at night.....nope - we didn't have tents, we had these things called flies. They were tarps that did not come all the way to the ground and provided little to no warmth from the nighttime elements. On 2 of the nights, we slept under the stars. It was all fine and dandy until I heard the Coyotes hooping it up in the near distance. No fires either. Thank the Lord for layers and "Hot Hands" to keep me semi-warm at night. I didn't sleep well at all on our trip. If only I could have packed my Tempur-Pedic, I would have been just fine :) But the cool thing was that even though I didn't sleep much, it was always enough to get me through the next day.





The best part of the trip was spending time with the gals I was with...there is something about being in the woods away from the television, telephone or any unexpected interruption that allows for some amazing conversation and vulnerability. Each one of the ladies shared their life story with the group. It was so meaningful to be entrusted with such personal information of what these gals have gone through in their lives. What blows me away is, no matter how perfect someone looks, there is always pain and everyone has a story....we all need the same things in life - to love and be loved and accepted for exactly how we are. I know that telling my story was a very freeing experience. Some things that I have hidden deep inside myself, I spoke of freely. Through the tears, I was able to empty out some pain and it felt good. I realized how important it is to have someone or a group of people who you can trust that you can share your "stuff" with. Everybody has it. You are not meant to carry your burdens alone and what I found is when I got it out in the open, it didn't seem so heavy anymore.

As you can tell, I learned a lot. I expected to be amazed by God's beauty in the mountains and although it was nice and of course beautiful, that is not what the purpose of the trip was for me. God taught me about the beauty of relationships, honesty and vulnerability. So Tina, Jen, Carrie, Kathleen, Ginger, Michelle, Karen, Julie, Julie Kate, Erin, Carla, Amy, Kara, Beckie, Megan, Lindsay, thank you for sharing your lives with me and helping me to be forever changed. I am honored to call each of you my friend.


Top Ten Things I Learned In The Wilderness:

1. Who knew God would pull me out into the Wilderness with a bunch of women I didn't really know to teach me about my marriage. Go figure....I was reminded that I married a wonderful man and I learned that I have a lot to learn about giving him the respect and love that he deserves. I am a work in progress. He is worth the work and our marriage will be better for it.
   
2. I learned that some people don't know where freckles come from :)
   
3. I will never look at rocks, snow or pine cones the same as I did before. On that subject, I learned that I can go to the bathroom in the woods no matter how badly I don't want to.
   
4. I learned that I have anxiety when I don't have a watch on. I never knew this about me. The guides strongly recommended that we leave our watches at base camp and I followed their suggestion. It drove me absolutely crazy not knowing what time it was, especially at night when I couldn't sleep.
   
5. I learned that you can add just one different ingredient to pasta and make a different meal almost every night of the week. And I also learned that stale brownies are really really good when you know you don't have any other choice to feed your sweet tooth.
   
6. I learned to like water even from the tap. As long as it doesn't have iodine, dirt or bugs in it, I'm good. For those of you who have not camped before, you cannot drink water directly from a stream....so we would collect our water and put 8 drops of Iodine in it before drinking. Little did I know that I am not crazy about the taste of Iodine, but when you are thirsty, it isn't that bad.
   
7. I learned the importance of being present. This is a struggle for me in that I tend to always be thinking of all the things I need to get done. I am trying to cherish the moments that I am in. My kids will only be this age now, I don't want to miss it because I am thinking about tomorrow.
   
8. I learned that being away from my kids for 8 days is a really really long time. I could have melted into a puddle when I saw Caleb and Foster run to me and call my name. There is no better living picture on earth of unconditional love.
   
9. I learned that 40 lbs on your back is heavy and when you get a chance to take it off, it makes you feel like you are going to float.
   
10. I learned that my hair looks really really bad after 6 days without washing, but not as bad as Erin's and I have a clear understanding of the importance of a daily shower for me, but probably not as important as it is for Jen :)

My Grandma

Ten Things I Miss About My Grandma
1) Her homemade rolls. She used to make me my own bag separate from the rest. I would literally hide them under my bed or in my dresser drawer so noone would eat them. I was ration out one at a time so they would last a long time. NOBODY can make rolls as wonderful as Grandma made!
2) How she said my name. She didn't call me Rebecca or Becca like most people do. She called me Reebecca....with the emphasis on the Ree. I loved it - from her. I actually prefer Becca from everyone else.
3) My grandma collected everything - rubberbands, straws, ketchup packets, bags that the newspaper comes in....everything. If you ever needed it, it was likely that Grandma had it.
4) Grandma had a way of making me feel perfect even when I had a permed mullet in the 5th grade. Only a Grandma can love during the awkward ages.
5) Grandma always had Coke in the glass bottle. There was a time when the Coke delivery man actually made a weekly stop at her house. She loved her Coke...I never saw her drink water and she lived to be 86.
6) Anytime we left her house, she would come to the door and wave at us until we were out of site. I saw Grandma about a week before she died. Even though she was so weak, she still came to the door and peaked out the window until I drove away. I burned that image in my brain because I feared it could be the last time I saw her and it was. I will never ever forget it.
7) When we were little and we would stay with her when my parents were out of town, she would give Amy and me a little radio to put under our pillows to listen to until we fell asleep. She would come check on us 100 times to make sure we were OK and didn't need anything.
8) I miss the sound of the back door. It was attached to a spring and it squeaked when it opened and slammed shut. She hated to hear it slam and I tried my best to remember to shut it quietly. We lived in Grandma's house after she died for about 4 months. Every time I went out that door, I intentionally let it slam. It would bring a smile to my face.
9) Grandma's mashed potatoes. I have tried to make them that good, but I fail. I think she used cream in them. It was always a pinch of this and a little of that...she would let me be the one who got to test them to be sure they were right. They were always PERFECT.
10) Her hugs and kisses. She was not a really affectionate person, but you could always steal a hug and kiss from her before you left after a visit. What I wouldn't do to have my arms around her again and to feel her skin. She was a picture of love to me and I miss her.

I think about Grandma all the time. I bet not a week goes by that I don't think about her at least once. Being a Hospice nurse puts me in situations that remind me of her so often...whether it be the way someone pronounces something, the way one of my patients walk, or the familiar smell of a gas stove in someone's home - they all point me to the wonderful memories I have of Grandma. I consider myself blessed to have been loved by such an amazing person!

Life is good. Be reminded to live each day without regret...you never know if you will have tomorrow. I am blessed by each of you who hold such a special place in my heart. Thank you for being my friend...

Until next time,
Becca

Keep things in Perspective

I played a singles tennis match tonight and I had my first loss for the season. I have never felt so tired. I felt out of shape and exhausted. I find it weird because lately I have felt so in shape and energetic. It was a strange feeling because I literally came to the point where I didn't care anymore. I just wanted the match to be over. As you all know, this is not like me, I never give up...so this was a very strange experience for me. Another strange thing is, I am not mad. Typically on the court I am so competitive that I find myself angry when I don't play like I think I should. Not that this is a good thing, but that is my genetic make-up. Maybe I can attribute it to getting older. Maybe I can attribute it to being wise enough to know that there is always going to be someone that is better than you at something.

I have been trying to teach Foster this lesson. We talked last week about "being better than someone else". I asked him "if you are faster than your friend, does that make you better than him?" Foster answered "yes". This lead to a long dialogue back and forth about how everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses and just because someone is better at something than you, it doesn't make them a better person. I want to teach him to define himself by who he is, not what he does.

I guess I should tell myself the same thing. It really honestly doesn't matter if I win or lose - that does not define who I am. What defines me is that I am perfectly made by a God who loves me. I am a wife to a wonderful man. I am a mom to the best 2 boys in the whole world....I love them so much that I can't even put it into words. Foster and Caleb melt my heart and I am so blessed to be their Mommy. My joy comes from spending time with people, spending time alone, reading, eating, exercising, competing, and serving others. I really am glad God made me who I am and I love living the life he created me to live.

Foster had his big 5 Year Old Birthday at the end of last month. We had a long drawn out celebration. My birthday is the day before his...so we had a joint party with some of our wonderful friends from church. We had a blast as usual. And then the following day, I took on a birthday party for Foster with some of his friends from school. He had 3 friends over and we had a blast. I had my hands full because I was the only adult...let me paint this picture - four 5 year olds, 1 almost 2 year old and me! We loaded up and went to McDonald's to eat and play, went to the park and then back to the house to play and open gifts. It was a wonderful day. Here are some pictures of the boys.

Foster unfortunately got very ill on his birthday. Thankfully, his party was the day before. He went into full blown asthma. He was started on Nebulized breathing treatments and steroids. Poor little guy....not a great way to spend your birthday. It took him about 4 days to get over feeling so bad. Thankfully, he is better now and we are watching him for further asthma problems.

Top Ten Things I am Grateful for Today:

1) My boys.

2) That Foster is feeling better finally and has not had any other signs of asthma since his birthday.

3) That Jason is coming home tomorrow after being out of town since Saturday. I love life more when he is here to share it with me.

4) Tennis. Our team is undefeated this year and it looks like we are going to qualify to go to sectionals in July. I have some work to do considering it is going to be HOT and we will have 2 matches a day. Redheads don't like the heat and I am no exception. In spite of the heat, I am grateful for the opportunity to play. It makes me feel like I am in high school again!

5) Summer vacation is just around the corner.

6) Just after vacation, I am joining several ladies for a 6 day hike in the mountains in Creed, Colorado. What an awesome time it will be to get away and experience nature.

7) I am so thankful for the best birthmom in the whole world. While Jason was gone this past weekend, Liliana came and stayed with me so I didn't have to uproot my family. I work on the weekends and have to make arrangements in the event that I get called out in the middle of the night. Liliana came to my rescue. She is awesome!!!

8) Jason was out of town on business and he had an awesome meeting in Oregon. We don't know if he got the account yet, but it has been a great experience for him so far...and he has had safe travel.

9) Weight Watchers has been good to me. I have lost 24 lbs since January. I still have a little work to do, but I feel great.

10) I am grateful that I get to go to bed early tonight. I am about 30 minutes past exhaustion. So, goodnight.

Until next time,

Becca

The Road Trip

Last Monday morning, I squeezed the boys in a very full car and headed East. After 12 hours of driving and two stops to play and eat, we pulled into a hotel in Birmingham Alabama. I had never travelled by myself with the boys. They had to quickly learn that riding in a car with only Mommy was like being on a chair lift - they better keep a tight grip on things because if something fell on the floor, it was gone. I also had never stayed in a Hotel room with the boys nor had I ever had to share a bed with Caleb. It is one of the most fun memories I have had with just the boys and me. The boys were wired from sitting for so long. Even though it was nearly midnight, I let them play for about 30 minutes. They had a ball bouncing on the beds and laughing. I had a full time job during the night hours keeping Caleb off of me as he wiggled and squirmed. Even though I didn't sleep well, I smiled thinking about the memory that was being created. It was a day I will not soon forget.

We arrived the next day in Atlanta where we spent the next 5 days with my Aunt Net, Uncle Bill, Cousin Kelly and her family, and my sister and her family. Jason was in Atlanta for business, but we were able to squeeze a little time here and there to spend with him. My Aunt is an amazing hostess. Her home is beautiful and well kept. It is also quiet...until we showed up. It is hard being in a new place when you have 2 loud energetic boys, but we had a wonderful time. I got to spend time with my sister and Maggie and I cherish every second I get to spend with them. Maggie is getting so big and I have a way of finding new tickle spots on her every time I see her. I just love her so much. It makes me sad that I only get to see her a couple of times a year. I am waiting for Scott and Amy to hear from the Lord that it is time for them to move back to the MidWest. I am not holding my breath :) just wishful thinking.

We went to the Atlanta Aquarium on Saturday...it was amazing. Foster's favorite thing in the whole world is fish so he was in heaven. If you are ever remotely close to Atlanta, you should drop in.

Jason, the boys and I came home on Saturday. We drove straight through and got home around 6am Sunday. It was a whole different experience having Jason with us. It was a much easier drive and it was good having someone to talk to. We are glad to be home. That is one of my favorite things about vacation - coming home!

Here are some pictures from the trip.

Now it is back to life. We have work to get back to and summer school starts. I have 2 tennis matches this week and Foster and my birthday are at the end of this month....busy busy. No matter how crazy it gets, I am reminded that WOW I have been blesssed. I wouldn't change a thing.

Hope you each have a wonderful week.

Blessings,

Becca

Caleb's Surgery

Caleb had surgery this past week for a hernia repair. Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. Things could not have gone more smoothly and you would never know that he even had surgery. He is all smiles and does not appear to have any pain. What a blessing. You know if we as adults had surgery, we would lay around for at least a week if nothing else for the sympathy. Jason is trying to figure out how we can get some Versed (the "happy medicine" Caleb got before surgery) to use for long car rides. Of course, he is kidding...but wow it is good stuff. After taking the "happy juice", Caleb was all giggles and very peaceful...he looked like he was straight out of the 70's, eyes half-opened and should have been wearing a tie-dye and sandels.

What a relief to have the surgery behind us! Thanks again everyone for being there for us!

I have been bad about taking pictures lately, so I don't have any to share this week. Other than the surgery, I don't have much else to report either. On the home front, all is good. My tennis season is underway and I am loving it so far. We have played 3 matches and so far we remain undefeated. I am so blessed to be able to play on a team with such great friends. I have to give a shout out to Melissa and Erin who have been on my case for never being in my blog :) No, you didn't make the Top Ten List, but you made the paragraph before the Top Ten List...not bad!

Ten Lessons I Want to Instill In My Children:
1. Be an encourager. Do your best to make people feel better about themselves after spending time with you. Cutting people down to make yourself look or feel better never works. You always end up looking like a jerk.
2. Be careful with words. You can't take them back and no matter how many times you apologize, the pain caused by words never totally goes away.
3. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Think about how you feel when things are done and don't do the things to others that hurt or upset you. I even think about this when I drive. It drives me nuts when people get in the merging lane and don't signal and just merge in....I try never to do that to other people. I don't want to be what potentially could ruin someone's good mood.
4. Winning is so much fun. I love to win, but in the long run, it is not really that important. If you have to choose between hurting someone or compromising your morals and losing; lose. People and integrity are always more important than the win.
5. Love God with your whole heart. God doesn't just live in the church to be visited on Sundays and sometimes Wednesdays. He sent His Son so you can have a relationship with him every day that goes beyond the walls of the church.
6. Be content. Don't compare yourself to other people. Look at all the blessings you have and don't focus on what things you don't possess.
7. Find something that you are passionate about and pour yourself into it. Even if that something isn't popular....if it brings you joy, do it whole-heartedly.
8. Don't worry about what other people think. You will never be able to please everyone. Be 100% you!
9. Be a good friend. Be dependable and do what you say you are going to do. Do special thing often for those you care about. And never take your friends for granted. Be sure they know how you feel about them.
10. Live a life of grace. Don't assume that the person who hurt your feelings did it on purpose, and don't walk around on a high horse standing in judgement of others. Extend grace freely to people....knowing that many times grace was given to you.

Thanks for letting me download my brain.
Until Next Time...
Blessings,
Becca

Short and Sweet

I don't have much to write today. I know it is a shock....I am usually full of all kinds of deep thought and profound words :) but today I just wanted to share some pictures. My life is full. I really feel so blessed with such a great family. I am surrounded by 3 boys that make me smile and bring me so much joy. Nothing like being married to your best friend and my 2 little men are growing before my eyes. It is just so fun.

Foster is like his mom....now fully addicted to Guitar Hero. He plays every time I play. He is not really playing. I am. BUT he thinks he is and strums right along with me. Spring Break was full of fun for him. We got together with some of his closest friends - Pruitt, Ryan, Faith, and Hope. We had a great time. He is such a social bug.

Caleb is so smart and funny. He is becoming quite a little pill and keeps me laughing. He is starting to say a lot of new words like "outside" (his favorite place) "Papa", "cracker", "bite" (he always wants a bite of what everyone is eating), "Luthah" (Kelly's dog....every dog is Luther to Caleb. He is going to be my little daredevil. The other day, Liliana and I caught him at the top of our steep driveway sitting on his scooter ready to let it rip. I really should dress him in a helmet each morning, but I will spare him the embarrassment.

I will only do a Top Five tonight because I am tired and it is late.

Top Ten Things I am Thankful For this Week:

1) My family who keep me so entertained and busy. They are worth more than money could ever buy. I am so so blessed.

2) My "Weight Watcher Buddies" who have helped walk through this weight loss process with me. I am down almost 20 lbs. I have 10 more to go to reach my goal. I couldn't ask for better people to go through this with.

3) Jason and I are going to get away next weekend for a fishing trip and I can't wait!!!!

4) Sema, our friend from high school came in for a visit this weekend. We had not seen Sema for almost 15 years. It was awesome catching up with her.

5) Tennis season starts tomorrow!!!!! I have my first match. I will be playing singles. I can't wait to get it underway!

I had to share some pictures of my niece Maggie. She is getting cuter by the day. Enjoy!

Love to all.

Blessings,

Becca

Just Being Me

Again, I have not written in awhile. Jason surprised me for Valentines Day and bought me Guitar Hero. I have been investing some time in my "Guitar Career" instead of blogging. It is a tough life, but someone has to live it :)

As for deep thoughts, I have been evaluating myself a lot lately. My sister and I have been talking a lot about our lives and things that we have learned in the past several years. It has been a good process to talk through with her. It is funny how so many miles can separate us, but we are still learning similar lessons.

One thing I have been working through is coming to grips with the fact that when God made me, He didn't make a mistake. I spent most of my life being frustrated that I was so different from other girls. In grade school, I played football with the boys at recess. I wanted to be "one of the guys" because I felt like I didn't have anything to offer the girls and they sure didn't have anything to offer me. I wasn't into gossip and didn't really care if my hair bow matched my shirt. I didn't even own a hair bow. I know my mom thought I was a lost cause. I would much rather have helped my father wash cars and mow the lawn than be cooped up in the house. I loved sports....any and all of them. I often times felt alone. Thankfully when I got to high school, I found a niche and made great friends with other athletic girls, but I still felt like an outsider. I was silly and fun, but I was a Christian and lived by my convictions. Now, don't get me wrong. I had a great group of friends at school and I keep in touch with some still, but in spite of that - I still felt different.

My wedding day was the first day of my life I ever felt beautiful. But at the end of the day, I couldn't' wait to get out of those hose and into a pair of jeans. Many years passed in our marriage where I struggled with being a wife and allowing Jason to be my husband. I felt certain that I didn't "need" him. I was pretty self sufficient and capable to do whatever I put my mind to. A few years into our marriage, we got into a multi-level marketing company where I actually tried to sell cosmetics. It was so amazingly uncomfortable to me. I was trying to be someone I was not.

It is only in the past 3 years where I have come to find joy in being exactly who God made me to be. With Jason's encouragement, I started playing tennis and taking time for myself. This is where I find my energy to come home a be the mom and the wife I need to be. I think during the first part of my life I struggled with finding who I was and then as I grew, I began running from who I was. Now I love who I am. I love that I have things that I am passionate about. I love that I can spend hours competing against myself or anyone who challenges me at Guitar Hero (Theresa). I love that I love to compete in anything from tennis to at the stoplight when the red light turns green. I love being a mom and a wife, and I love that Jason is my husband. Not only do I know that I need him, I want him because he loves me just the way that I am.

Ten Inventions That I Think Would Be Priceless:

1. Something that would show me the consequences of my actions before I did them.

2. A Human Silencer. This would especially come in handy with the children.

3. A Teleporter. Maybe I would be on time for once. Probably not though.

4. Something that gave me long back rubs like Jason used to give me when we were dating :)

5. Antiperspirant that actually kept me from sweating.

6. Something that would permanently remove static from all my belongings especially my hair.

7. A Word Retractor - I sure wish I could take back some words I have said in the past. There are also things I wish I would have said.

8. A device that allowed me to forever remember the sound of my Grandmother's voice, the smell of her house, the presence of her being. I say that I remember it now, but I so wish I could hear her say my name again and taste her homemade rolls.

9. A Vehicle that allowed me to explore the depths of the ocean freely....heck I would be satisfied to just explore the bottom of a lake. It is a mystery down there.

10. A device that could read between the lines and translate what someone is actually meaning in what they say. No more guessing when you hear the answer to "How do I look in these jeans?"

Until Next Time.

Blessings,

Becca

Lesson Learned

It has been so long since I have blogged. The older Caleb gets, the harder it is for me to find time to sit down and write. We are doing great. My days are filled literally with cleaning our house and chasing my crazy boys. I cannot lie, I do find time to squeeze in some tennis too. Having two boys is more fun than I ever imagined. Foster is getting so big and so smart. He and Jason have a new pastime of drawing together. For Christmas, Jason got him a "How-To" drawing book and sometimes in the evenings, they sit at the dining room table and draw. Jason is teaching Foster to draw what he sees, not what he thinks. It is a big concept. I don't even think I grasp it; but Foster is doing a great job. Of course, all he wants to draw is dinosaurs. Jason hung a rope along the wall in our game room and hanging from it are lots of Foster's originals. I LOVE IT!
Caleb is growing so fast. He is becoming so verbal. As we walk through the grocery store, he says "HI" very loudly to nearly everyone that passes. He absolutely loves music. On a few occasions I have caught him in the living room with the TV on the ORU Chapel service. He is in there dancing and singing to the music. He comes by it honestly, his birthmom is an amazing singer. I hope both boys pursue music as they gets older. I really do think I am the only mom in history that hopes that her son plays the drums. I played the drums in Elementary school and wish that I never would have quit.
I have learned so much in having two boys...They are both so different. God really is creative when he makes each person. Both boys know how to push my buttons. I have especially struggled with knowing how to discipline them because they both respond differently. You only have to give Foster a stern look or possibly a time out. Caleb is a different story. Although as he is learning how serious I am when I say No, he is responding better to "the look".
The other day while I was in the shower, I noticed that Caleb had his eye on the toilet brush that was wedged out of reach behind the trash can. I poked my head out of the shower and told him "No" in that voice that says that I mean business. I was almost done with my shower. I kept an eye on Caleb, but he didn't know I was watching. With his eyes in my direction to see if I was watching, he slowly worked his way over to the trash can and very deliberately moved it out of the way. I turned the water off and started drying off. Caleb didn't know that I could still see him. With his eyes fixed on me, he slid slowly over within arms reach from the toilet brush. I told him, "If you touch, I will spank, that is a No." I started drying my hair with a towel and again he thought I was not looking. He reached out very quickly and just touched the handle of the brush and quickly retreated his hands and started to walk away. I of course stopped him and had to follow through with what I had promised. I spanked his hand. Again another reinforcement that No means No, but it is hard.
After that happened with he toilet brush, I said to myself "Why does he do stuff like that?" It was then that I realized that I am not much different. There are things that I do every day that I know I shouldn't do whether it be eat something that is not on my Weight Watchers program or something more significant. Isn't it ironic how little we change as we get bigger. We have a way of making the forbidden within our reach. Just like Caleb rearranged the trash can so that he could touch what he is not supposed to, don't we often times rearrange our circumstances so that, although we really really really don't want to do something, we make it very easy to fail. I do it all the time when I grocery shop. I will say to myself, Foster really likes Nilla Wafers; I should get him some. When in reality the moment they enter my house I dream about them and in a moment of weakness, I can literally inhale nearly the whole box. It is best for me to leave them at the grocery store rather than bring them here where they are within my reach. The lessons I learned from this are 1) I am not much different from my kids, just bigger and hopefully a little smarter. 2) Most the time what is forbidden is not as exciting as what you thought it would be. I am sure touching the toilet brush didn't give Caleb the thrill he thought it would. Next time I am tempted to do what I shouldn't I hope I remember this lesson; it is hardly ever worth the consequence.

Top Eleven (A Bonus) Things I am Thankful For:
1. We found the greatest babysitter named Taylor who is available day or night. It is so freeing to know that we can find someone who lives so close to us that is available when we need them (and finally give my parents a break from their babysitting duty).
2. Caleb's increasing vocabulary and funny sense of humor. He makes me laugh and brings so much joy to my day.
3. Foster has become quite the helper around the house. He is working through his chore list daily trying to earn enough money to buy a Spiderman Toy he has his eye on. He has been helping keep his room and the game room really clean. It is such a nice treat.
4. I am so thankful that we reconnected last week with our friends Rogers and Fab. It had been a long time since we spent time together and we had so much fun. Hopefully it is just the beginning.
5. Finally the melting of the ice and snow. It is in the 60s today. I have my window open and have been driving the Jeep around today. I absolutely LOVE this weather.
6. My Dad and Mom gave me their old Treadmill a couple of weeks ago. It is so great to have a place where I can exercise when Caleb is asleep. I am loving it!
7. Speaking of exercise - I have been on Weight Watchers with my friends Jody and Kristin. We started Jan 1st and just today I hit the 10 pound weight loss mark! I have a few more to go, but I am excited about the progress. I am finally starting to notice the difference in how things fit and how I look. The next 10 pounds are going to be even more exciting.
8. We sold our pool table and converted the former pool room to a game room for the kids. It is so wonderful having one room where the toys stay. It makes the rest of the home so much more clutter free. I love it!
9. Again, I am thankful for Esther, our cleaning lady. She just left after cleaning for the past 4 hours. The house smells like Mr Clean Lemon. What a beautiful smell...especially when it is on floors that I didn't have to mop :)
10. I am thankful for how awesome Jason is as a husband and a dad. He has been working so hard to be home early and spend good quality time with us. Yesterday before leaving town, he stayed home to have breakfast with the boys. I know how easy it could be for him to lose himself in his work, but he is making us a priority and I am so grateful.
11. Guitar Hero. I discovered my love for Guitar Hero on New Years Eve...I guess it feeds my dream of being a musician. It is probably as close as I will ever get. As you can see in the picture, Jason likes it too. If you haven't played it, you are missing out :)

Blessings to each of you,
Becca

Top Picks for '06

Not that my top picks are really that significant in the lives of those that read this blog, but perhaps they will inspire you to listen, read or watch something new. I guess my opinions are just as important as anyone elses. Anyway, here are the picks for my favorite from 2006.

Best TV Show - Comedy: SCRUBS
Best TV Show - Drama: Grey's Anatomy (being a nurse my influence my 2 choices for Best TV Show)
Best Talk Show - Dr Phil
Best Male Comedian - Larry the Cable Guy
Best Female Comedian - Ellen Degeneres
Best Podcast - Relevant http://www.relevantmagazine.com/podcast.php
Best Movie: I am sad to say but I don't think we have been to a movie this year. But two that Jason and I could watch over and over are Liar Liar and A Knight's Tale. Any suggestions for The Best '06 Pick?
Best Book: Captivating - Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul (This is not a book I would of picked up because I figured it would be filled with a lot of fluff and mushy stuff, but it is awesome. It has helped me uncover some cool stuff about myself - who I am and why)
Best Band: Without a doubt, The Hero Factor. If you have not heard them, go to www.theherofactor.com and give them a listen.
Best Female Singer: Christy Nockels formerly of the group Watermark. Of course I may be biased since I know her, but she really is amazing.
Best Male Singer: Shawn McDonald http://www.shawnmcdonaldmusic.com/

OK, those are my picks. I know you may disagree with some of my choices, but that is what makes the world go around, right? That is what is so great about people -everybody has their own opinions and tastes and that is what makes life so fun.

Until Next Time,
Becca