My Grandma

Ten Things I Miss About My Grandma
1) Her homemade rolls. She used to make me my own bag separate from the rest. I would literally hide them under my bed or in my dresser drawer so noone would eat them. I was ration out one at a time so they would last a long time. NOBODY can make rolls as wonderful as Grandma made!
2) How she said my name. She didn't call me Rebecca or Becca like most people do. She called me Reebecca....with the emphasis on the Ree. I loved it - from her. I actually prefer Becca from everyone else.
3) My grandma collected everything - rubberbands, straws, ketchup packets, bags that the newspaper comes in....everything. If you ever needed it, it was likely that Grandma had it.
4) Grandma had a way of making me feel perfect even when I had a permed mullet in the 5th grade. Only a Grandma can love during the awkward ages.
5) Grandma always had Coke in the glass bottle. There was a time when the Coke delivery man actually made a weekly stop at her house. She loved her Coke...I never saw her drink water and she lived to be 86.
6) Anytime we left her house, she would come to the door and wave at us until we were out of site. I saw Grandma about a week before she died. Even though she was so weak, she still came to the door and peaked out the window until I drove away. I burned that image in my brain because I feared it could be the last time I saw her and it was. I will never ever forget it.
7) When we were little and we would stay with her when my parents were out of town, she would give Amy and me a little radio to put under our pillows to listen to until we fell asleep. She would come check on us 100 times to make sure we were OK and didn't need anything.
8) I miss the sound of the back door. It was attached to a spring and it squeaked when it opened and slammed shut. She hated to hear it slam and I tried my best to remember to shut it quietly. We lived in Grandma's house after she died for about 4 months. Every time I went out that door, I intentionally let it slam. It would bring a smile to my face.
9) Grandma's mashed potatoes. I have tried to make them that good, but I fail. I think she used cream in them. It was always a pinch of this and a little of that...she would let me be the one who got to test them to be sure they were right. They were always PERFECT.
10) Her hugs and kisses. She was not a really affectionate person, but you could always steal a hug and kiss from her before you left after a visit. What I wouldn't do to have my arms around her again and to feel her skin. She was a picture of love to me and I miss her.

I think about Grandma all the time. I bet not a week goes by that I don't think about her at least once. Being a Hospice nurse puts me in situations that remind me of her so often...whether it be the way someone pronounces something, the way one of my patients walk, or the familiar smell of a gas stove in someone's home - they all point me to the wonderful memories I have of Grandma. I consider myself blessed to have been loved by such an amazing person!

Life is good. Be reminded to live each day without regret...you never know if you will have tomorrow. I am blessed by each of you who hold such a special place in my heart. Thank you for being my friend...

Until next time,
Becca

Keep things in Perspective

I played a singles tennis match tonight and I had my first loss for the season. I have never felt so tired. I felt out of shape and exhausted. I find it weird because lately I have felt so in shape and energetic. It was a strange feeling because I literally came to the point where I didn't care anymore. I just wanted the match to be over. As you all know, this is not like me, I never give up...so this was a very strange experience for me. Another strange thing is, I am not mad. Typically on the court I am so competitive that I find myself angry when I don't play like I think I should. Not that this is a good thing, but that is my genetic make-up. Maybe I can attribute it to getting older. Maybe I can attribute it to being wise enough to know that there is always going to be someone that is better than you at something.

I have been trying to teach Foster this lesson. We talked last week about "being better than someone else". I asked him "if you are faster than your friend, does that make you better than him?" Foster answered "yes". This lead to a long dialogue back and forth about how everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses and just because someone is better at something than you, it doesn't make them a better person. I want to teach him to define himself by who he is, not what he does.

I guess I should tell myself the same thing. It really honestly doesn't matter if I win or lose - that does not define who I am. What defines me is that I am perfectly made by a God who loves me. I am a wife to a wonderful man. I am a mom to the best 2 boys in the whole world....I love them so much that I can't even put it into words. Foster and Caleb melt my heart and I am so blessed to be their Mommy. My joy comes from spending time with people, spending time alone, reading, eating, exercising, competing, and serving others. I really am glad God made me who I am and I love living the life he created me to live.

Foster had his big 5 Year Old Birthday at the end of last month. We had a long drawn out celebration. My birthday is the day before his...so we had a joint party with some of our wonderful friends from church. We had a blast as usual. And then the following day, I took on a birthday party for Foster with some of his friends from school. He had 3 friends over and we had a blast. I had my hands full because I was the only adult...let me paint this picture - four 5 year olds, 1 almost 2 year old and me! We loaded up and went to McDonald's to eat and play, went to the park and then back to the house to play and open gifts. It was a wonderful day. Here are some pictures of the boys.

Foster unfortunately got very ill on his birthday. Thankfully, his party was the day before. He went into full blown asthma. He was started on Nebulized breathing treatments and steroids. Poor little guy....not a great way to spend your birthday. It took him about 4 days to get over feeling so bad. Thankfully, he is better now and we are watching him for further asthma problems.

Top Ten Things I am Grateful for Today:

1) My boys.

2) That Foster is feeling better finally and has not had any other signs of asthma since his birthday.

3) That Jason is coming home tomorrow after being out of town since Saturday. I love life more when he is here to share it with me.

4) Tennis. Our team is undefeated this year and it looks like we are going to qualify to go to sectionals in July. I have some work to do considering it is going to be HOT and we will have 2 matches a day. Redheads don't like the heat and I am no exception. In spite of the heat, I am grateful for the opportunity to play. It makes me feel like I am in high school again!

5) Summer vacation is just around the corner.

6) Just after vacation, I am joining several ladies for a 6 day hike in the mountains in Creed, Colorado. What an awesome time it will be to get away and experience nature.

7) I am so thankful for the best birthmom in the whole world. While Jason was gone this past weekend, Liliana came and stayed with me so I didn't have to uproot my family. I work on the weekends and have to make arrangements in the event that I get called out in the middle of the night. Liliana came to my rescue. She is awesome!!!

8) Jason was out of town on business and he had an awesome meeting in Oregon. We don't know if he got the account yet, but it has been a great experience for him so far...and he has had safe travel.

9) Weight Watchers has been good to me. I have lost 24 lbs since January. I still have a little work to do, but I feel great.

10) I am grateful that I get to go to bed early tonight. I am about 30 minutes past exhaustion. So, goodnight.

Until next time,

Becca