Emily Maddox 10/2/36-10/13/07

At 4:25pm on October 13th 2007, my mother-in-law, Emily passed away. I find it hard to even write right now because I don't really know what words to say. I am deeply saddened by the loss of this woman who has been in my life for 18 years. She is the mother to my husband, the grandma to my boys and she was my friend.

Emily was a woman with huge strengths and big weaknesses. She stood very strong for what she believed in, no matter what the cost. You always knew where Emily stood on any issue. She was a loud voice for the Republican party and loved her country deeply. She loved family. As a matter of fact, Emily would look for any and every excuse to get the family together -Christmas, Labor Day, Presidents Day, you name it. She had 3 boys - Powl, Hopper and Jason. Jason is the youngest. She had 8 grandchildren. I won't list them, but our boys are the youngest. Nothing brought her more joy than to have all the family around. The louder and the more laughter, the better.

One thing that I respected the most about Emily is that she didn't just sit and watch life go by. She was always busy doing something, whether it be volunteer her time, work in the yard, or travel. She was always on the go. When she was in her mid-60s, she was on her roof cutting tree limbs and lost her balance. She fell and broke her foot. If it was possible to do-it-herself, she did it! Rarely did I see her sitting in front of the television. She made the most of each moment. I want to be like that when I grow up.

I am still struggling with my emotions as I am very sad that she is gone. I don't know if I should feed my sorrow or just pretend like everything is OK. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coster and I will be ready for this ride to be over. With my Hospice background, you would think that I would know how to better handle death. I see death all the time and I have been able to numb myself when it is someone who I don't know. Now don't get me wrong, I do shed occasional tears at work, but what I feel with the loss of Emily isn't just a few tears. It is much deeper. I ache. I am so grateful that I was able to be with her a lot during the last few months of her life. I have no regrets. I know that she knew that I loved her deeply and I can't think of anything that I didn't say to her. For that I am so grateful. I know each day will get easier; I will always miss her in our lives.

Ten Things I Loved About Emily:

1. She was the Queen of setting people up. If she knew a single person, it was her mission to find someone to set them up with. She wasn't all that great at it, but she was not discouraged by her track record.

2. She could whip up a meal in minutes...there was always a meat, a starch and something green. In her opinion, it wasn't a meal without those 3 components.

3. Emily had the narrowest foot I have ever seen. Each year when Belt's Shoes would have a big sale, Emily and I would go shoe shopping. She would offer to buy me a pair of shoes, but I typically would have a hard time finding any that I liked. She would come home with several new pairs.

4. She made her some of her swimsuits. They were pretty, but always looked a little strange, like something wasn't quite right. She had a great figure so she could pull it off. No, I will not be making my own anytime soon.

5. She loved to laugh...especially at her boys. Get the boys in a room and she would sit and listen with a big smile on her face. She is the reason all 3 boys think they are funny. She was an easy audience for them.

6. She has kept me from having to learn how to sew. Since Jason and I have been married, Emily has been replacing all of Jason's buttons and zippers and mending all the tears in his clothes. Guess I better wipe the dust from our sewing machine now.

7. As I mentioned before, she didn't watch life pass her by. She was known to go hiking, camping, fishing and hunting. She travelled the world. She volunteered her time and gave blood regularly. She was in a motor home club, worked with the Republican Party, and loved to host parties at her home. She made the most of her 71 years. I love that!!!

8. For the past 5 or 6 years, I have been the one that went Christmas shopping with her for all her grandkids. She always had in her mind what she wanted to get them and I tried to make sure that what she picked out was in style. This is a tough job for me. I am not exactly the queen of style, but we had fun shopping together, none the less.

9. Emily was almost as frugal as my Grandma. She didn't believe in wasting anything. She would washout and reuse plastic baggies and she would recycle wrapping paper. She even took Christmas Cards that she received in the mail and would cut them at the seam and then mail the picture side as a postcard or use it as a card the next year. There is such a huge part that thinks that is a great idea, but the other part of me won't allow me to go that far in my "cheapness"but I still love her for it and it makes me smile.

10. She was my mother-in-law - full of advice, strong suggestions and opinions. Although she let her ideas be known, she never imposed on our lives. She was respectful and loving. She would do anything for us and always had an open door for us to drop in and swim or just hang out. She was an amazing person and she will never be forgotten.

One thing I have learned through this hard time in our lives - we have wonderful friends. Thank you everyone for your words of encouragment and sympathy. Thank you for helping with food and with the kids. Thank you for being there for us. We are so grateful that you are in our lives. We love you all.

Until next time...hopefully on a much happier note :)

Blessings,

Becca