Perspective is funny. Sometimes I look at people and marvel at how put together they seem. I am in awe of people who not only have it together on the exterior but also seem to be confident in who they are as a person. Their marriage and children look textbook and there life seems easy.
My life couldn't be more opposite. I rarely am "put together". If I do fix my hair in the morning, it is in a ponytail by noon. I sweat like a man and my socks have holes...I try to not take my shoes off in public unless I am positive I have non-holey socks on. I struggle with pride, self-esteem, and anger. I am so disorganized that it is ridiculous - I think I lose my keys at least 5 times a day. I have to keep tight reigns on my tongue....in other words I easily gossip and when I am angry (especially on the tennis court), words come out of my mouth that would make a sailor blush. I also find myself cutting down others to make myself look better. I absolutely hate it when I do that. Since I was young I have struggled with being honest - I feel like I have made a lot of progress in that department, but I still catch myself at times not telling the WHOLE truth. Probably what gets me the most is that I care way too much about what other people think of me. I beat myself up when someone either doesn't like me or if I feel judged by someone. I hide behind my humor because I think if I keep people laughing they won't see what a mess I really am.
I know that I have good qualities too, but seriously, when I sit and look at me, I can get very down. The only hope I have is that I am not defined by my mistakes and imperfections. I am defined by who God says I am. I am one of His children - He loved me enough to send his Son to die for me. I have to remember that God doesn't make junk and he can use me in spite of all my broken and mangled pieces.
I am not going to settle for being one giant mess. I am working on the areas that need to be worked on. There is no doubt that I am not the person I want to be, but each day I get to start over and walk this journey. I am so thankful for friends and family who love me for me in spite of my "junk".
Life has been quite busy since I last wrote. Jason moved his office home. We reconstructed our dining room into an office. It has been great having Jason home during the day. It is so nice to see him more and it also frees me up to run errands during Caleb's nap time. We also did Jason's mom's Estate Sale and it was A LOT of work. I have a new appreciation for throwing things away; I was amazed at some of the things we found. We ran the whole thing ourselves....thankfully my Dad and Jason's brother, Hopper helped run the sale and our friends Deanna, Evan, Liliana and Kelly came and helped me price and stage things. The best part about the sale is that it is over. Now we are on to the next step of getting the house ready to sell. Jason and I had an emotional day yesterday as we walked around the house and saw it almost empty. Jason pointed out places in the house where he had different memories of his mom. It was hard! We even toyed with the idea of selling our house and moving there, but we both know that the emotions were talking. It is just really hard to close that chapter, especially for Jason. This house is the house he was raised in and there are a lot of memories made between those walls.
Five Things I Learned At the Estate Sale:
1) People will get mad over 50 cents. We actually had someone slam down an item and walk out because he thought the price was 2 for 50 cents and it was actually 50 cents each.
2) People are dishonest. We had one little lady switch the price on an item (she was probably in her 70s). Funny thing is, I would have given it to her at a cheaper price if she wouldn't have changed the price.
3) People how make a living off of "garage-sales" are pretty annoying. They like to use pressure to get you to make a fast decision that will lean in their direction. I had one guy offer me $3500 cash for Emily's car which I am driving. I told him that I would be interested in getting his name and number and he told me that the offer was good only for that minute. I told him that I was driving it and he said "surely you can get a ride from someone". I told him "No thanks".
4) Some people look at Garage Sales as a game. We had at least one person steal some jewelry that was marked $1 - seriously, is your integrity worth $1? I think people just try to get as much as they can for nothing.
5) Some people are genuinely nice. We had one older gentleman buy something and he heard us complaining that we had run out of bags for people. He went home and made a special trip back to the house to deliver us a load of bags. I want to be like him!
I included a couple of pictures of the boys. I have not been taking many pictures lately. Enjoy!
Have a blessed week!
Until Next Time,
Becca
My life couldn't be more opposite. I rarely am "put together". If I do fix my hair in the morning, it is in a ponytail by noon. I sweat like a man and my socks have holes...I try to not take my shoes off in public unless I am positive I have non-holey socks on. I struggle with pride, self-esteem, and anger. I am so disorganized that it is ridiculous - I think I lose my keys at least 5 times a day. I have to keep tight reigns on my tongue....in other words I easily gossip and when I am angry (especially on the tennis court), words come out of my mouth that would make a sailor blush. I also find myself cutting down others to make myself look better. I absolutely hate it when I do that. Since I was young I have struggled with being honest - I feel like I have made a lot of progress in that department, but I still catch myself at times not telling the WHOLE truth. Probably what gets me the most is that I care way too much about what other people think of me. I beat myself up when someone either doesn't like me or if I feel judged by someone. I hide behind my humor because I think if I keep people laughing they won't see what a mess I really am.
I know that I have good qualities too, but seriously, when I sit and look at me, I can get very down. The only hope I have is that I am not defined by my mistakes and imperfections. I am defined by who God says I am. I am one of His children - He loved me enough to send his Son to die for me. I have to remember that God doesn't make junk and he can use me in spite of all my broken and mangled pieces.
I am not going to settle for being one giant mess. I am working on the areas that need to be worked on. There is no doubt that I am not the person I want to be, but each day I get to start over and walk this journey. I am so thankful for friends and family who love me for me in spite of my "junk".
Life has been quite busy since I last wrote. Jason moved his office home. We reconstructed our dining room into an office. It has been great having Jason home during the day. It is so nice to see him more and it also frees me up to run errands during Caleb's nap time. We also did Jason's mom's Estate Sale and it was A LOT of work. I have a new appreciation for throwing things away; I was amazed at some of the things we found. We ran the whole thing ourselves....thankfully my Dad and Jason's brother, Hopper helped run the sale and our friends Deanna, Evan, Liliana and Kelly came and helped me price and stage things. The best part about the sale is that it is over. Now we are on to the next step of getting the house ready to sell. Jason and I had an emotional day yesterday as we walked around the house and saw it almost empty. Jason pointed out places in the house where he had different memories of his mom. It was hard! We even toyed with the idea of selling our house and moving there, but we both know that the emotions were talking. It is just really hard to close that chapter, especially for Jason. This house is the house he was raised in and there are a lot of memories made between those walls.
Five Things I Learned At the Estate Sale:
1) People will get mad over 50 cents. We actually had someone slam down an item and walk out because he thought the price was 2 for 50 cents and it was actually 50 cents each.
2) People are dishonest. We had one little lady switch the price on an item (she was probably in her 70s). Funny thing is, I would have given it to her at a cheaper price if she wouldn't have changed the price.
3) People how make a living off of "garage-sales" are pretty annoying. They like to use pressure to get you to make a fast decision that will lean in their direction. I had one guy offer me $3500 cash for Emily's car which I am driving. I told him that I would be interested in getting his name and number and he told me that the offer was good only for that minute. I told him that I was driving it and he said "surely you can get a ride from someone". I told him "No thanks".
4) Some people look at Garage Sales as a game. We had at least one person steal some jewelry that was marked $1 - seriously, is your integrity worth $1? I think people just try to get as much as they can for nothing.
5) Some people are genuinely nice. We had one older gentleman buy something and he heard us complaining that we had run out of bags for people. He went home and made a special trip back to the house to deliver us a load of bags. I want to be like him!
I included a couple of pictures of the boys. I have not been taking many pictures lately. Enjoy!
Have a blessed week!
Until Next Time,
Becca
3 comments:
Becca, you said you have a hard time being honest. That blog was pretty darn honest. I have felt the same way, so by reading it I was saying,"yea, I have felt like that, yeas thats me! But the neat thing is that you want to change things and you are an awesome person. Dont let satan tear you down like that. We know he is out to kill, steal, and destroy. So keep speaking good things into your life. You are a child of God. He made you a beautiful wonderful person. Not because of what you are, but because of who He is Love ya Elaine
Becca, I love your bloggings. Whatever you may think, they are rich and genuine. If it helps you at all, I feel very much the same way, except I toss my holey socks immediatlely upon discovery.
Hey Becca,
Oh, so what you are saying is that you are Human! I could list all of my weaknesses and insecurities, but I don't think the web is big enough! You are GREAT! I love working with you. I think it is awesome and exciting all that you get done! you are an inspiration! My goal on most days, is to get out of bed! I'm working on self improvement myself, but i'm not making as much progress as you! Love ya, Wendy
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